NicoWuzHere.

livelaughlovetrinitylifedesires: loveisimperfectlyperfect: allu...

Tue, 21 May 2013 07:06:57 -0400

loveisimperfectlyperfect:

allundertheupperhand:

taylor-shaw:

ill settle for nothing less

if my future husband doesn’t have a reaction like this i’m walking right back out and saying “alright let’s try this again”

“You know when the bride makes her entrance and everybody turns to look at her? That’s when I look at the groom. Cause his face says it all you know, there’s pure love there.

I like to glance back at the poor guy getting married. Cause even though I think he’s an idiot for willingly entering into the last legal form of slavery, he always looks really, really happy”

Last comment has me dying laughing

titty-princess: tonightwetanqueray: oh-hey-its-nay: xlipstick-...

Tue, 21 May 2013 07:01:22 -0400

titty-princess:

tonightwetanqueray:

oh-hey-its-nay:

xlipstick-lover:

kdotmoneytrees:

I CAN’T DEAAAAALLLL!!! 

Wrong lol

omggggg ahaha

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YA’LL AINT SHIT

iasjkfdaldimroiw

glitterweave: when you’re trying to enjoy a picnic and theres a bee flying around your head

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:24:52 -0400

glitterweave:

when you’re trying to enjoy a picnic and theres a bee flying around your head

minestuck: alternate title: young children gawk at flaming...

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:14:15 -0400

minestuck:

alternate title: young children gawk at flaming homosexuals

doortotomorrow: heyitsthatsean: blizooka: heyitsthatsean: bes...

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:05:33 -0400

doortotomorrow:

heyitsthatsean:

blizooka:

heyitsthatsean:

bespectacledsquid:

unholyglee:

here-come-the-drums014:

lotsofeverything:

joshuascottchaney:

minorfour:

Anyone else notice Mushu the dragon is Mulan’s tattoo…?

This is the coolest shit I have ever seen.

Let’s not forget this one

…this is the first time I’ve seen disney princess stuff that I’d actually want as prints. Also, part of me is glad Tiana’s not in this bunch bc there’s only so much potential to be wrong-headed about things from my cultural background I can take in a day. But if this artist actually got it? Tiana, queen of the zombies would be amazing.

anyone else notice how mulan is the avatar

Oh god.

except that tiana is indeed in this series and she’s the best fucking one period

actually shit they left out kida, tiana, pocahontas, rapunzel and maid marian

Holy shitballs!

Disney seen through a darker lens. I love it. I can’t choose a favourite.

egberts: mabeltron3000: oomshi: me when my mom says we’re...

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:00:35 -0400

egberts:

mabeltron3000:

oomshi:

me when my mom says we’re getting mcdonalds

Jesus Christ what is happening

we’re going to mcdonalds

Photo

Mon, 13 May 2013 02:56:47 -0400

epic-humor: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good...

Mon, 13 May 2013 02:53:49 -0400

epic-humor:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

bop it

pull it

twist it

harder

better

faster

stronger

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

see more

kauvera: supernatural-aka-tearsandgay: wiener-cest: demeaniac: STOP SCROLLING straighten your...

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:57:23 -0400

kauvera:

supernatural-aka-tearsandgay:

wiener-cest:

demeaniac:

STOP SCROLLING

straighten your back, mate

NOW GO ON

woah thanks i really needed that today

tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time

FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME

PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever and I always need it omg

[x]

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:49:05 -0400

[x]

teashoesandhair: 221cbakerstreet: everybody wants morgan...

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:47:34 -0400

teashoesandhair:

221cbakerstreet:

everybody wants morgan freeman to narrate their life but I want five sassy singing lady muses

I want Morgan Freeman to narrate most of it and the five sassy singing lady muses to step in and perform catchy yet narratively sound musical numbers when it gets too serious

amusealittlemuse: leonsballs: pkmnbreederbrianna: togamijai...

Mon, 06 May 2013 22:53:29 -0400

amusealittlemuse:

leonsballs:

pkmnbreederbrianna:

togamijail:

chandra75:

im-sherlocked-in-my-mindpalace:

socially-awkward-supervillian:

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack pray that runs

jesus that is good to know.

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit

my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

Another Fun Fact: Cheetah’s are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetah’s are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Other’s will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll loose their cubs.

So zoo’s with breeding program’s had to figure out how to make Cheetah’s comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.

So what’d they do?
They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!

The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

Thats fucking adorable as hell

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 22:51:23 -0400

romanticizing-death: sixcatsandtwodogs: gifcraft: Stop the...

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:44:28 -0400

romanticizing-death:

sixcatsandtwodogs:

gifcraft:

Stop the bullets. Kill the gun.

I held my breath at the last one.

IT WAS COOL AND THEN IT GOT SCARY AS SHIT

"Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip..."

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:39:10 -0400

“Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip enhancements or liposuction are still real women. Size 0 may make no sense mathematically, but a woman who wears that size is as real as the one who wears a size 16. What makes us “real” people is not the shape of our flesh but our basic humanity. And we lose our humanity when we judge – not when we lose weight, gain weight, or make the intensely personal decision to undergo cosmetic surgery.”

- Hugo Schwyzer (via arpeggia)

Photo

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:15:36 -0400

purpleflrs: This is the cutest shit Ive ever seen on the...

Sun, 05 May 2013 03:26:10 -0400

purpleflrs:

This is the cutest shit Ive ever seen on the internet

Photo

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 15:18:18 -0400

roachpatrol: avatarjk137: nooby-banana: thesanityclause: rinn...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 15:07:21 -0400

roachpatrol:

avatarjk137:

nooby-banana:

thesanityclause:

rinnysega:

vashappeninstyles:

the19thhistory:

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasn’t a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don’t know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year, or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade…. obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He’s too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunately, but we’ve got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment’s balcony.

Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom’s—apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-pierced document hanging on my wall.

what is this

Get out Canada

I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters’ eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won’t allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we’re bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn’t handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid’s eagle, you had to just man up and learn your lesson!

Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn’t use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren’t the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn’t show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we’ve been together ever since.

Some people think it’s excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I’m a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, “You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses,” but I digress. We don’t have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWII aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It’s hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light.

Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so I was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn’t just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here — it’s not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays — was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn’t just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America’s natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother’s eagle ceremony, which I will always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart.

Photo

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 14:05:45 -0400